The great (e)scape

I once had a friend in college (rather, boyfriend) who fancied himself a very good chef. When he went to cook me dinner, it was stir fry, which is probably what he cooked for the next girlfriend, and the girlfriend after that, and the girlfriend after that, in case you were wondering where this story was going. In our particular rendition, there may have been some grey beef and green stuff. We ate it out of a single plastic bowl with a chinoiserie-style pattern, I think. I don’t entirely recall. But I do know that there was garlic, for the next morning I could smell the stuff seething out my skin. It was not just on my hands, from having handled too much raw. (Cook me dinner he did, but I was the chopper.) I could smell it on my arms and legs, too. Showering and scrubbing did not help. I was embarrassed to go to class, and may have skipped that day. I think I could still smell it on Day II as well, showering and scrubbing did not help, and so forth.

When you’re in love, it doesn’t matter if what you have cooked is too salty or too sweet; it will be spectacular in any case. And when it’s love, I think, your clearest recollection will probably not only be regret the morning after, which is to say that this boyfriend was not that. There is not so much garlic in my cooking these days.

Garlic scapes, by contrast, are the young and pretty, curly stems of the garlic you buy at the grocery store. They’re said, however, to have a milder flavor than their roots, but I would only recommend them if you already know it’s love. They are very pungent and have quite a kick. In smaller quantities, however, they are quite nice, and their scent will not seep through your skin (which, it must be said, I hate). I have tried roasting and sautéing garlic scapes (I don’t do stir fry.), to no avail. The only reasonable application seems to be as a pesto. I made one earlier this week and served it folded into pasta with some lemon balm on top (as seen above). The second night, I did the same but tossed in crisped bacon and a wilted bit of escarole. Both were good, and I thought the pungent/smoky/bitter/fresh combination of the latter worked rather well, very well in fact. If you have the same on hand, I’d recommend you try it. If you don’t have the same, but used garlic scapes anyway, could you tell me what you did? I’d love to know.

For the record, I’ve only seen garlic scapes at farmers’ markets, and am very sorry if these are things to which you do not have access. In any event, I think they’re fun, but really only for a moment or two, and not much longer. Kind of like that boyfriend.

Garlic scape pesto

6 garlic scapes, washed and chopped smallish  |  1 very big handful parsley  |  ¼ cup parmesan cheese  |  2 T pine nuts  |  juice of ½ lemon  |  ¼-½ cup good olive oil  |  salt

Purée in everything a food processor, adding only as much olive oil as you need to get the texture that you want. It will taste very strong, but keep in mind that you will be folding it into pasta, which only tastes of wheat. If it is still too strong, add more of everything but the garlic scapes.

If you want to scale this up (recommended), double, triple, or quadruple as necessary, and freeze in ice cube trays overnight, then pack the cubes into plastic bags. 1 big cube will do for about 1 serving of pasta.